Just finished watching Excalibur. Love that movie. At some point I'm finally going to see Lilo & Stitch, and then Harry Potter 2 again. Yay.

Trying to figure out what to get the kids for Christmas. Jenni got Grace rollerblades. Please tell me what use a four year old is going to make out of rollerblades...I'm not going to participate in the usual feeling guilty over not getting Grace the freaking best of everything because it's a battle we're never going to win, and at least I won't be buying retarded gifts such as rollerblades for someone who's mastered walking for only a couple of years.

I'm so ready to have this baby. I was in some sort of pre-labor earlier this week and was told to go to labor and delivery by my doctor but I didn't. Figure I've done this once and I was pretty sure I wasn't having a baby yet. With Jonathan it was pretty easy, because I woke up to my water breaking, and going to the hospital then is a given. Now it's a guessing game. "Am I in labor? Hmmm, I dunno...it kinda hurts, but I don't see a head..." To tell the truth I'd rather have some hours in hard labor than two months of these pre labor pains. It's not even braxton-hicks anymore, it feels like labor. There's something humorous in the fact that giving birth feels like you have to take a huge poo in the worst way. Well, not really. But the drugs make up for it. And the baby when it's over. That is an awesome thing, when they place the screaming wrinkled thing on your chest and you realize that's whats been kicking you and causing you all that discomfort, and it's over and he's here. I'll never forget Jonathan raising his little head and looking at me right in my eyes, my little four pound baby staring me down, then resuming his crying. "Why god, why her?" Heh.

Speaking of itmo...he's walking now. I don't remember if I mentioned that yet, I'm sure I have. I just can't get over it, it's the most amazing thing. Of course, his being a most sensitive child knows something is up with mommy. Ever since that night and morning I had my contractions he's been glued to my side in the worst way, crying whenever I move 5 feet away from him and constantly having to be on me. And when he does get on me he just wants to rip at me. That's hard to take, a slap one second a kiss the next.

Oh well. Motherhood.

-Petra

written on 2003-12-18 at 11:23 p.m. by sweetsolace.

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